ok. this sounds bad to me. but i really have to thank my 1st confidant. and i really mean it. not sacarstic. thanks for u told me wat i am now. its too wrong to be true. now as wat i see... i feel its right. i should change. i am so darn wrong. i will say out loud now: i shall be wat i was in pri sch. nothin abt the heart but all of the mind. now there are no eneemies but all shall start from the beginin. if i ever stray from my path pls any 1 feel free to tell me. its like givin me a slap after i am unconcious or watever it is spelt. i can only say sorry for those that i hurt accidentaly hurt in the past. i am truly sorry. i dun ask for ur forgiveness but for ur understandin. i am a bit too rash.

my past is plagued by wat i did. i carn believe myself that i did all those. to my 1st 2nd and third confidant: i hope u 3 will give feedback. not a must... jus a request form ur friend if u treat me as 1. i will change... it starts all form this minute onwards. i am guilty of my mis-doings. do not blame my 1st confidant. its aint his or her fault. without him or her... i will still be in the dark and unaware of wat happened.

dun blame any 1. for this i am of to be blamed. no 1 else. for those who care: i am not sad. really. i am more guily. so... dun feel sympathetic for me. feel for those i hurt. not trying to put a strong front but i started it, i should end it. its only right. not sayin i will be a total good boy, jus hope that time will cure everything.

this is the last day. and the last note to her: i give up not because i really give up. i jus feel i did many things i should not have done. i jus want to let u noe this. i hope u understand. even i gave up... hope u will not treat me as a complete stranger and lend me your support not as 1 i liked in the past but as a friend.

this is the longest post. cause its not about wat happened. its a reflection. i jus hope things will change for the better. when will i be back as wat i am now? i dunno. jus wait and see...