200th post. lets mark it with smth emo. today, i went to grandma's hse. cant believe hw much i missed her. whn i hold her hands, they were so wrinkled and so soft. she aged so much. she stopped using hair dye, and her white hair makes her older. the sight of my granny like that, hurts me. though everytime i see her, i will ask the same question "ah ma hou bo", and her reply will nvr change " hou la". but im sure deep inside, shes feeling the wear and tear of time. i promise ill go more to her house. but im so tied down by sch and judo, i dunno man. i lost a close kin before. my great aunt. though i was her nephew, i only got to see her arnd 10 times a year, so the sadness was not that great. now its my grandma. the person who took care of me since i was young, the person i stayed with for more then 12 years. the person who went on countless overseas holidays with me, but stopped cause of her leg problem.

i dunno. if i lose her, i tink ill go wild. i certainly hope that day never comes.




jus the thought of it, brings tears to me.